Four more days till I go home....I guess it's home...This place feels more like home in someways. Life in Thailand is not complicated, it's slower, it's simpler, it's real. Life here is real in the sense that people see the reality of suffering or pain. Back home... pain is a lot easier to cover up or masked because we have more...We have cell phones, ipods, T.V's, cars, our very own bedrooms to run away and tune out the pain of life. Here people don't have these things to distract them from their pain...They have to face the pain.

I think that is how God wants us to live. He wants us to be able to face the reality of pain. He doesn't want us to mask it but to look at it head on! It is in those times when we look at our pain and we realize that it is too heavy of a burden to carry on our own. We realize masking pain only makes the wound worst, the emptiness deeper.

I feel that this is one of the many lessons I have learned in Thailand. While I have been working with my friends who are poor, I have come to learn from them that I need to embrace my brokeness and pain. I need to embrace it because it is there, where God meet us in our brokeness. There He promises to hold us during our pain.

Speaking of pain...I guess you could kinda say I am going through it a little right now. It's going to be so hard saying goodbye to Leah, Monicah, and her new baby girl, Anna*. This three girls have capture my heart, and taught me so much during my time here. As I prepare to say my goodbyes I can only look to Jesus as my strength, I can only trust in Him that He will provide for all of our needs. In this situation, I need to face the pain of good-bye and trust that God is watching over all of our lives, Leah, Monicah, and Anna, even when we are far apart.




As I prepare to go back to the States, I am feeling even more confident in where God is leading me. I know with out a doubt Thailand has just been the beginning, of what God has for Josh and I. Working with women in these situations is where God is leading us and we are excited to continue to enter ministry with the Lord- bringing light into darkness.

One last story....The other night was my last night for Outreach in the streets. It was a great night seeing the kids we work with and saying my good-byes. At the end of the night as I was heading home and waiting at the bus stop. I walked past a young women standing on street corner. While I was waiting at the bus stop, I compelled to looked over at this young women. She was standing there smiling at me. I felt a pull to go over and talk with her. I asked her how is was doing, and we had some small talk. She told me, she was 20 years old and from Africa. Soon she began to opened up more. She told me, that she was brought over here to "work". She had only been working in Thailand 2 weeks. She said, she doesn't want this life of work, but wants to be free. I continued to listen to her story, and at the end of our conversation she said to me, " I swear, I really treasure the day I met u. U is a good friend and I pray to GOD dat our friendship should last forever n ever. Promise me dat we will always be friends."

Those were her exact words.

There I was standing in front of this young women, I just met. In that moment, I knew that I was made for this. I was made to be a light, to love, to be a friend. We are all made for moments like that. We were made to be available to God's work, wherever we are. We were made to comfort the weak, we are made to love the unlovely, we were made to feed the hungry....Ultimately we were made to bring glory to Jesus...and these things point to Him.

We are made to point to Christ, so that when a young strangers come up and talk to us, we can be ready to give an account of the hope that is in us.

That night, I left the young women, knowing I that I just planted a seed, and I might not see her again. But that night I also knew that I left her with a piece of Jesus. She knew I cared for her, that she was valued, and she was loved. I share this story not at all to talk about what I did, but to truly point to Christ and his love that shines through us. Matthew 5:14-15 says, "You (believer) are the light of the world...let your light shine before men... that they may praise you Father in heaven." This is my prayer that I may decrease so that Christ's light may increase!

Serving, Riots, Engagements OH MY!

So much has happened since my last blog entry. Since then, I've traveled to Laos to renew my visa, got a meaningful tattoo to mark my experience here, went on the last team retreat to Ko Samet island, survived the Red Shirt riots, and then I GOT ENGAGED! It's crazy thinking about the unknown things we face in life. I have been thinking about my 25th year of life and how it has been full of the unknown. When I first came to Thailand I had know idea what to expect. I needed to just trust the Lord and then along the way unexpected surprises came. The Christian life is like that, its full of uncertainty and unknown seasons, but when our eyes are fix on Christ it is full of surprises that open us up to new chapters that God has in store!

Lately, I've been thinking about this new chapter here in Thailand. Alot of changes are taking place right now. The team is officially ending June 1st, everyone is going back home, and Tim and Amy (the Field Directors) will leaving for the States to raise more support. So I will be staying here with one intern and the two women we are caring for. We have alot of responsibility on our shoulders, since our Field Directors will gone. Plus, Monicah will be having her baby this month. The due date is June 28th! Anyhow, as I close up my time with my teammates and as they prepare to go back home, and as I continue to work with the women in our home, I have alot of thoughts and prayer requests.


(this is a view from my taxi of the riots)

First, continue to pray for peace in Thailand. Most of the rioting has ended but pray for healing in the land. There was about 80+ people who were killed in the riots. Pray for spiritual and political restoration in Thailand. Secondly, pray for Leah and Monicah. They are going to have to say their good-byes to the team and it will be hard for them to have a quiet home. Also pray that Leah and Monicah can adjust to new changes (the baby coming, and a possible job opportunity for Leah). Pray that they will be able to make healthy choices while the Field Director's are away.


On a personally note please be praying for me this summer as I extend my internship. Pray for strength and wisdom, most of all pray for my motivation to be completely because of Christ, not motivation based on serving man. Pray also for me as I prepare to come back to FL in July. I have been thinking alot about reverse culture shock and my responsibility to still advocate for the poor even when I am back in America. In one of my blog entries I wrote about the quote that says, "Ignorance is Bliss." Since being here in Thailand I am not ignorant of suffering and poverty...I have seen way to much pain and I have a responsibility to lift up those who are oppressed no matter where I am in the world. And that should be true of all believers, we all have unique calling and responsibility to bring freedom to least of these. Jesus says, "what you have done to the least of these you have done it unto me." And on the flip side what we don't do for the least of these, we don't do for Christ. That is a sobering thought, let that sink in. I don't want to stand before Christ and have Him say in his gentle loving way, "why didn't you clothe me, feed me when I was hungry, or take care of me when I was sick."

O Lord move us to serve you and your people! Help me to respond to the cries, don't let us by ignorant of the reality of suffering! One last closing thought and verse that has shaped my time here is Isaiah 61. Isaiah says, "the Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring the good news to the poor, to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom to the captives, and to open the prison to those who are bound!"

God move us, help us run recklessly to your calling!

The Poor and God's Heart!

(A typical Cambodian house)

Its' taken me awhile to write in my blog again... I guess it's because the past few weeks have been a lot to process. After visiting Cambodia and seeing more suffering, it has stirred a few questions in my mind. I've been thinking of God's heart for the poor. I keep thinking about Jesus' life. He left everything He had and came to earth to be a poor man.

Who really wants to leave their own home, a place of comfort, of safety, a place of peace, to come down and hangout with people who hate you? I know I wouldn't want to do that! But for some amazing and beautiful reason God chose to become poor so that He could identify and relate with us. When I think about Christ's example I am compelled to try and live my life serving the poor the way He did! Identifying with the poor in their suffering is exactly what Christ did.

As I mentioned before, questions have been stirring in my mind related to God's heart for the poor. Questions like, "why aren't we more actively involved with the poor, when Scripture clearly shows God's deep compassion for them?" "If we have so many resources why aren't we more generous with what God has given us?" Or "how can I live more simply inorder to identify with the poor?" I share these questions to encourage all of us to honestly look at God's heart for the 'least of these.' Since being here, I have learned the importance of identifying with the people we work with. We have to bring mutual respect and humility when serving them. We can't come in thinking that we- Westerners can 'save the day'. We need to identify and put yourselves on the same playing field as them. We in fact need the poor, because they teach us about humility, thankfulness, and simplicity.

Being in Thailand, India, and Cambodia and getting to know our friends who are poor, I am compelled to live more simply, because they live very basically. When I am on the streets of Bangkok visiting my friends, I am more aware of the money I spend when around them, I am more aware of what I consider "trash" is. (I quickly learned that my empty plastic water bottle is not trash to someone who doesn't have anything to hold their water in). I am also more conscious of the food I waste when I am eating with them. When I am with my friends who are poor, I am forced to examine my lifestyle.

I want to close with two stories about two women I have become friends with. First is Monicah*. Monicah is one of the women we are caring for in our home. She is 7 months pregnant. She has very little as far as money and possessions go. Right in front of our house, we have a little street market. However, Monicah usually chooses to walk to a different market about 3 miles away in the 100 degree scorching, sun because the other market is just a little bit cheaper. She does this because she wants to be careful with how she spends her money, (even if it means walking 3 miles, 7 mos pregnant in the hot sun). When I look at Monicah's life, I think about the way I spend my money. I usually make decisions based on "convenience". BUT I have to ask myself the question, "is this wise, just making decisions based on what's 'easiest' or 'convenience'? I think God would answer and say no. We should be more thoughtful with the way we spend our resources, even if it means shopping somewhere else, or not buying the newest clothes or coffee. Since, living and caring for Monicah, I have seen her simplicity and it really challenges me to examine my lifestyle. I have also seen her thankfulness for what she does have.

The second story is about a women named Ban Luog*. She was abandoned by her husband, is now homeless and lives on the streets with her three children (ages 10, 5, 6 mos). Ban Luog is actually Cambodia but she lives in Thailand because she can make more money begging on the streets rather than working in Cambodia. Ban Luog has had a very hard month. Recently, a foreigner drugged her while she was begging on the street and he took her 5 old daughter. By God's grace the police intervened and Ban Luog got her daughter back safely. However, it would be much safer for Ban Luog to go back to Cambodia with her 3 children. But she doesn't want to go back because she literally has nothing in Cambodia. No home, no food, nothing. There is a Christian organization that we know of that could help her. But she needs the funds to get into the program. If only the resources where there, she would be able to go. Right now, she doesn't have the funds to go where its safer.

There are solutions to these stories...the solution is: God's people getting involved and coming alongside those who are poor. Whether its walking 3 miles to the market so they don't have to walk alone, or whether its living simply and saving money so that it can be used to assist a mother and her 3 children. There are solutions to these stories. The solution first began with God's love. Love that led him to earth to become poor, so that He could reach the least of these! This beautiful truth then moves us (who already have hope) to be His hands and feet in the world!

(* indicates names were changed)

(This is the street I live on and this a normal meal)

(My Thai friend, Nam Fon. She teaches us Thai and goes on Outreach with us)

I can't believe how fast time goes by in Thailand!! It has been over a month and a half since we've opened our house up to two women who were in need. The women that have been staying with us have horrific stories- from being sent to work at the age of 16, from being deceived, sold, and forced to leave their country to work. My dear friends stories are hard to hear but I see that God is in the midst of their lives. He has brought them to our home so that they can begin to heal. Their names are Leah and Monicah.*

Since Leah and Monicah have come to live in our home, so much has happened! I now have two close friends who have taught ME so much about hope and perseverance! These women have been through so much hardship, but through it all they both have sparkling brown eyes that choose to smile despite the pain of the past. Since they've come to live with us, they have just started the beginning stages of healing.

The first week in our home, Leah told me in her broken English and Asian accent, "Before I come here, I cry everyday! I cry in morning, I cry in night. But now, that I have a new home. No cry anymore!" My heart melted listening to her open up! How beautiful- after all these years of pain, she finally feels like she has a home! And Monicah tells me almost everyday, that we are her "new" family now!

As I think about Leah and Monicah, it is so humbling to be apart of these beginning stages of their healing. Getting the chance to point them to a God who is intimate, who understands and loves them just as they are, is such an honor. In these beginning stages, my prayer is that Leah and Monicah truly believe that they ARE known, that they do BELONG and that they are deeply LOVED!

Actually, about 6 months ago Monicah came a believer. She is beginning to see these truths and understand that she now, truly belongs because of Christ! It's actually an amazing story how she found Jesus. Jesus came to her in a dream!

She has told me her dream many times and I still listen in amazement each time. Monicah comes from a Hindu/Buddist background. Evil spirits and spiritual oppression is all she knew before. Monicah saw good and evil through the eyes of Hindism and Buddism, she therefore placed Jesus in the mix with all the other spirits and gods. However, one night as Monicah was going to bed she had a dream. In her dream she said, she saw a man dressed in all white, shining and full of beauty. He told her that he was her true Husband. He bent down to touched her hands and said whispered, "Follow me." Then he touched her cheek gently and said, "Don't look back, don't worry about your family. Just follow me!" She said, she felt overwhelmed with peace and love. She told me, when she woke up the next morning her fear was gone. She knew she was never going to be the same again. She said to me, "Bekah....I meet Jesus that night."

Since I have been here in Thailand, I have heard many stories like this, of people coming to know Jesus through dreams. It's beautiful, because Jesus speaks every language! I can be encouraged, that when I can't explain Him in their language, HE can explain HIMSELF!

As far as language goes, Leah and Monicah know a little bit of English so we are able to communicate. As an Intern, my responsibilities are providing home care for them. This includes shopping at the street markets, providing meals, going with them to refugee/hospital appointments, doing art therapy, and just having the ministry of presence in their lives.

Prayer requests:

Please be praying for Monicah and Leah when you think of them. Leah especially needs prayer. Leah is a precious women, with a strong, spunky heart! She does not realize how much Jesus loves her, so please pray that her eyes will be open to the King. Leah has had so much hurt in her life, fear is still in her eyes. Please pray that the Lord will heal her, set her free from fear, and that she will welcome His presence!

Also, please pray for our team. We are leaving for Cambodia March 20 - April 1 to renew our visas. We will also be serving the street kids and young women in a care center. Pray for safety and guidance as we serve. Pray for vision as we go to Cambodia. WMF is hoping to start a new field, this trip will hopefully give us vision for the Cambodian children and women!

( * names were changed to respect privacy)

Stories from India.....

“Ignorance is bliss." Just think about that statement for a moment…I know we have all heard this saying or even used it at some point. And on some level “ignorance IS bliss”…it’s relieving not having to face the reality of certain things in life...not having worries is such a relief! But I was thinking about this and how is applies to my life and the lives of other believers. As I was reflecting about this statement, it actually contradicts they way we are called to live.

Jesus calls us to be in the world, but not of the world. So, if we are called to be in the world then that would mean we can’t be ignorant to the worlds suffering, poverty, or pain. Actually, we should be sitting alongside those who are suffering and suffer with them. Just as Christ says, “mourn with those who mourn.” Since being in Thailand and now just getting back from India, I feel that the Lord is opening my eyes on a deeper level to human suffering. Being “ignorant” or unaware is no excuse. I don’t ever want to live in blissful ignorance of the world around me. This is my prayer for all of believers. I pray that we will live in reality, not in an imagery world free of suffering. God calls us to be involved not ignorant, and that is my prayer for all of us that we truly come alongside those who are suffering.

When I first saw India while flying over Mumbai, you can see the hardship in this country. It is so oppressively poor here. As we were getting closer to land the plane we were flying over the slums. Seeing the conditions of the slums you can just feel the struggles of the Indian lives. Once we landed we had a connecting flight to Chennai. Chennai, India is where the Word Made Flesh conference was being held. The WMF conference was for all the missionaries in the Asia Region. The countries consisted on India, Nepal and of course Thailand. It was a great experience for me. I was able to meet all the WMF staff from the different countries. Getting to hear the stories of how God called the staff was so encouraging! At the conference I was over the child care. It was a blast playing and learning Hindi from the missionary kids! After the conference in Chennai we spent several days in Kolkata.

When I arrived in Kolkata it was night and I could still tell it was one of the dirties places I have never been. It was so polluted! There are so many words to describe this place! At night when is it just getting dark, it looks as if you are in an old black and white movie. All of the buildings are old and run down, and because of all the dust that flies up and mixes with the street lights it gives an old vintage movie look. It’s strange…

Driving in Kolkata is quite the experience! There are bikes, motorcycles, tuk tuks’, taxis, tons of bus, and strangely- men pulling a carriage with people on it (instead of a horse). The streets are so busy with people and cars swarming around.

On the sidewalks you have people sleeping amongst the noisy traffic and horn honking, children begging for food, sellers of scarf’s, jewelry, and tea stands everywhere! As I was walking on the streets I realized there were hardly any women out. All I saw was Indian men! The ratio of women to men was 1 in 5! As women, we had to be very careful and be sure to dress modesty!

Life in India is very hard. One day, as we were walking down the street, a woman with a small baby and little daughter came up to us, begging. We were able to give the woman yogurt curd with bananas to feed the children. The woman gave a half smile, took the food, then handed it to her little daughter. The women continued to beg. I was watching the little daughter and had noticed she was trying to secretively throw the food away without us seeing. The little daughter didn’t know that I saw her. But seeing her throw the food away only meant one thing. They are controlled by pimp. They are only expected to bring the pimp money, not food.

It was so heart breaking knowing that so many people on the streets live their lives being controlled by someone. That night, it was hard for me to sleep. I kept thinking about all the suffering in this city and in Thailand.

The next morning we woke up at 6AM to work at the Mother Theresa Home for the Dying. At this home men and women who are dying on the streets are picked up and taken here. Their wounds are tended to, they are given medicine, and a comfortable bed. This is a place where they can have dignity and love before they pass- Again another heart breaking day in Kolkata. When I left India all I could do was pray and asks God, ‘what is my role?’ ‘How can I serve and help your people?’

Now that I am back in Thailand serving the women here, I continue to pray and ask God the same prayers, “what is my role and what else can I do?” “I am Yours, so use me how you will.”
Just recently we have taken in some women to stay in our home. Please pray for them! My primary responisbility will be to oversee and care for their needs. Please continue to pray for us in Thailand! Love you all!